I was going to make an insightful first post about how I fell in love with the written word, or something beautiful about the journey I took for years attempting to suppress the urge to write but how I finally just gave in to temptation and wrote a novel that I'm desperately trying to get published, maybe even a short life history about how my awesomeness came to be… But I'm just too pissed off at the moment.
My Xbox 360 is constantly menstruating bitchy attitude all over the place, and I am SICK of her moody behavior.
I don't know why my 360 hates me so, and I’m not sure when this feud began. I give her a variety of games, movies, TV shows, and even the occasional mix CD to enjoy.
I’ll start from the beginning.
I was 17 years young, a senior in high school, taking a full course load of International Baccalaureate work and stressed beyond belief about my future. It was Christmas morning. Normally, I found Christmas Eve to be a sleepless night filled with anxiety on what I was or was not going to find underneath the tree the next morning. At this point in my life, however, I had come to realize (SPOILER ALERT) that there was no jolly 'ol Saint Nick squeezing down the chimney. This year I asked for an Xbox 360. I needed a 360 and I'm not sure my mom and step dad understood the importance. Every one I knew was gaming 24/7 and I needed to be a part of it.
I knew times were tough, and honestly, I would have been happy with a pair of argyle socks. I also was working at a movie theater, which didn't pay much, but I knew if I managed my money correctly I'd be able to purchase my 360 eventually, so I knew I’d get it either way.
Anyways, at around 6:00 am we (Mom, Step Dad, Step Sister, and me) gathered in the living room. I watched as my step sister tore through her presents much like a beast stripping the last bits of meat off the bone. She was going to ravage through anything with her name on it, and it was intriguing to watch to say the least.
I waited patiently until there was one box remaining under the tree.
A refurbished Xbox 360.
Words couldn't captivate my excitement; I couldn't believe they were able to get me what I asked for. I was truly surprised. I was going to march up to my room and ignore society for the rest of my Christmas break, just me and my Xbox 360. I ripped open the Microsoft box to examine the cords. All seemed to be in working order, but I noticed there were a couple things missing:
I forgot to mention to my mom that with a gaming system one normally requires controllers to operate it and games to play on it.
That was okay, I was not going to let that get me down, I mean they just got me a freaking 360.
So I stared. I sat in the living room and stared at the 360 longing to play it while my step sister applied every last bit of make up and inhaled all of her chocolate goodies. I could be patient. After all, I'd have a lifetime with Nessy. Yes, I named my Xbox Nessy. Short for Loch Ness Monster, because she was a mythical beast of amazingness I never thought I’d get to see in real life.
As mentioned previously, I was taking a full course load of IB and working at the movie theater when I could. The paychecks sucked and went mostly to gas and insurance on my wicked sweet ‘93 Integra, so I didn't have much in the savings account for controllers or games.
Weeks passed by until finally I got a paycheck with just enough left over to buy a used controller and one, maybe two if I played my cards right, used games.
I came back with, "Marvel: Ultimate Alliance" and a used controller.
I hooked up everything in my room so I could just lounge on my bed and submerge myself in super hero glory. I played the shit out of every character, unlocked new heroes, battled to the death, cursed at Thor when his hammer was useless. 10 hours later I realized night had fallen and that I'd successfully lost myself in a fictional world where I was a bad ass.
Nessy and I may have gotten off to a rocky start, but it was open skies and endless nights from there on out.
Weeks passed and people began asking me for my Xbox Live gamer tag.
I hadn't set up an Xbox Live account yet. My next mission in life was to become an epic online gamer. I finally got around to setting it up when
*DUN DUN DUNNNN*
The screen read:
"Unable to find connection.
Would you like to Retry?"
Now, I am not the best with technology, so I called tech support (my best friend Jake) for help. He was on the phone with me for an hour or two to no avail. I bought extender pieces, an Xbox Live membership, and too many cords that the lovely people at Game Stop said would do the trick, and still nothing worked.
I upped the level of tech support calling on a friend from work, who after a few hours tinkering away was also not able to fix the mystery problem.
Honestly, I am not the type of gamer who games to interact with other people across the World Wide Web. I just have fun, and also... I suck. I'm not just saying that, I really am awful. The idea of going on a live interface with complete strangers who would have no remorse in mocking my n00b level of skills petrifies me.
At this point my schedule was becoming too busy for me to worry about connecting to Xbox Live. I was busy balancing an IB Diploma Candidate exam schedule, trying to have a social life, plus working at the theater. So naturally, Nessy took a back seat and became the official DVD player of my room.
After a summer of bon fires and beach trips, I started art school for Graphic Design that fall. I surprisingly made quite a few friends, some of whom were from the game design academy, rather quickly. I invited some of them over on Super Bowl Sunday and one of them decided to fix Nessy’s connection issues.
At this point, I knew it was nothing but a fool’s errand. I even tried to warn the poor kid, but he insisted. Three hours and one frustrated gaming student later, he gave up.
I dropped out of art school the next month and then that June moved 3000 miles away to good 'ol
to work as an Associate Manager at a movie theater, and also to get a fresh
start. I moved with literally two bags to my name. In those two bags I managed
to fit my Aragorn and Hugo “Hurley” Reyes actions figures, but had to leave
Nessy back home in hopes that one day I’d ship her over. Mount
Pleasant, South Carolina
Months passed and Fable Three was about to be released. After a few phone calls to my mom begging her to send Nessy to me she obliged. One week later I get Nessy, but my mom neglected sending any controllers or games, some things never change.
Nessy and I had been on too long a journey for me to give up now, so I immediately walked the two miles from my dreary apartment to Game Stop. Fable Three came out in a few weeks and I had enough money to buy a copy of Left For Dead and a controller and was in control of my destiny once again.
I noticed that Nessy was being extremely temperamental, especially after my roommates beast-like dog knocked her over. Nessy now refused to play certain discs and constantly froze ALL the time. There was some red-ringing going on (accompanied by stress-induced asthma attacks for me), but I calmed the situation immediately and by the time Fable Three came out I was able to log an insane amount of hours almost immediately.
My life progressed with two more cross country moves and Nessy stayed with me the whole way, continuing to deteriorate and play fewer and fewer discs.
Could she connect to Live? No.
Could she read every disc? No.
Why did I keep her? Because I was (still am) too broke to buy a new one.
These past few months have been extremely trying with Nessy. I now am in the middle of the back woods of
with no source of entertainment
besides books (which honestly I’m fine with, but I’d really enjoy to supplement
the literary joy with some gaming badassery). I mean, to give you an idea of my
isolation, I actually sat down and wrote a novel. Maine
There is nothing going on here.
Nessy now is refusing to play any of my Firefly DVD's, she is picky about which games (No BioShock, no Red Dead Redemption) and as I sit here writing this, she is now rejecting my Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets DVD.
RAGE RAGE RAGE RAGE RAGE
If you are still reading this, I'm assuming you think I have major issues.
You are correct.
I chalk it up to stress.
Stress of being unemployed, stress of signing into my email every day just to find another rejection notice from an agent or publisher not wanting anything to do with my book, stress of living in the middle of no where with no social life, stress of student loans for a Graphic Design degree I will never get, stress of being forever alone.
Okay, now I'm getting melodramatic, but it doesn't change the fact that Nessy is being a giant bitch face.
I've started this blog in hopes to not only have an outlet to express the journey I'm currently on, but also a place to give my opinion on whatever I want. I read a lot of books and comic books, I watch a lot of movies, I am a TV junkie, I'm obsessed with near every genre of music, and I try my best to keep up with current events and politics, so I might as well post them online for shits and giggles, right?
Hopefully you enjoy my story telling and daily antics, for I am wizard of words, and these are my adventures… of awesomeness.